Here and Now
by Rachel Wilder
Summary: A one shot (that became a two shot) looking at some of the things that might have happened in the three weeks between episodes 3x17 and 3x18.
1. Chapter 1

Deacon walked into the dark house. Scarlett would be on the road for another week or so. It felt odd to be here, all alone after the last couple days with Rayna and the girls. He crossed over to the kitchen where the light was flashing on the answering machine and pressed the button, listening as the woman from Dr. Rand's office reminded him about his MRI appointment.

With everything that had happened with Rayna since she came up the to the cabin, it was tempting to not think about the tumor, about how cancer was growing in his body, but then there it was with a short message on the machine-he had cancer, the tumor could be growing, growing too large to even make the transplant an option. He wrote down the number and made a mental note to call first thing in the morning.

As he crossed back to his bedroom, ready to take a shower and crawl into bed, his cellphone rang. He pulled it out of his pocket and smiled.

"Hey, babe," he answered.

"You get out of those clothes yet?" Rayna asked, her voice low.

"You trying to start something with me?" he replied, a smile crossing his face. "If you got those girls to bed, maybe you just want to come over here."

"Don't tempt me," she responded. "But seriously, what do you have on your schedule for tomorrow?"

Deacon sat down on the edge of his bed. "Not sure, just yet," he replied. He took in a deep breath. "Actually, I need to go in for an MRI. There was a message here when I got home."

"Oh," Rayna replied. "Is that...what do they do those for?"

Deacon leaned forward, resting his arm on his knee. "I have them pretty regularly. They have to check the tumor, see if it's growing. I'll call in the morning and they'll probably have me come in tomorrow afternoon. Then I usually go to the doctor for results the next day."

"Do you…" Rayna started, then paused. "Can I come with you?"

Deacon was quiet for a moment. "Yeah, you can do that. Actually, I'd like you to come. Scarlett usually goes with me, but she's gone now and I know you probably have questions."

They ended the call and Deacon pulled off the shirt he had been wearing for the past couple days. He caught a whiff of it and tossed it in the corner in his laundry basket. He pulled off his boots and then his jeans and headed for the shower. Rayna hadn't said anything, but he was beginning to see the toll the illness was taking on his body and he was feeling it in other ways, like falling asleep on her couch earlier that night, for example.

But, as he turned on the water, waiting a moment while it warmed up, he realized the other thing he was feeling, something that had been missing for a long time.

He felt calm. Despite all of his fear about telling Rayna, about the pain he had not wanted to cause her, having her know, having the girls know-it finally brought some measure of calm to his heart.

* * *

Rayna pulled up in front of Deacon's house and sat for a moment. She was just about to get out of the car when the front door opened up and he walked out. She watched him come down the sidewalk. She could sense an unease about him, even as he smiled at her and then as he joined her in the car and leaned over to give her a kiss.

Having him here, next to her, the ease of the kiss, it was still so new and precious and at the same time it felt like the most normal thing she had ever done.

"How are you feeling?" she asked as he pulled the seat belt across his chest and clicked it shut.

He looked over at her and a slight smile crept across his face. "Nervous," he admitted. "I don't like the tests, the waiting."

She reached over and took his hand in hers. "I'm glad you let me come with you yesterday, even if there wasn't anything I could do during the test. I want to be there for you, in any way that can make it be a little less awful for you. And now, we can go and hear what this doctor has to say, plus I want to meet this guy who you say is putting a smile back on Scarlett's face."

He nodded as she tightened her hand around his. They sat for a moment, then she put the car in gear and they headed across town to the hospital.

* * *

Rayna and Deacon walked down the hall, hand in hand, with his steps slowing slightly just before they reached Dr. Rand's office.

"What's the matter, babe?" Rayna asked as he stopped just outside the door.

Deacon turned toward her. "Just feels a little more real, you bein' here with me. And I know I told you I've got six months, but what if we go in there and it's not six months anymore? What if it's no months?"

Rayna leaned in and kissed his gently. "Well, we won't know unless we go in and see what he has to say."

She turned and started walking into the office. Deacon waited for a moment, then followed behind her. As he came in the door, Dr. Rand was coming around the desk with his hand outstretched.

"I'm Caleb Rand," the doctor introduced himself as he shook Rayna's hand.

"This is...this is Rayna," Deacon replied.

"It's nice to meet you," Rayna said as she took a seat across from the doctor's desk. Dr. Rand returned to the other side and sat down.

"You aren't even gonna ask where Scarlett is today?" Deacon asked, smiling.

Rayna could have sworn the doctor blushed. "Oh, is this...this is the doctor? With Scarlett?"

"It's nice to meet you, Ms. Jaymes," the doctor replied. "And yes, I'm the doctor seeing Scarlett. Saw her up in Chicago a couple of days ago, as a matter of fact."

"She seem like she's doing okay?" Deacon asked. "I talk to her every night, but surprisingly, we Claybournes aren't always completely open and honest about how we're doing and feeling."

"If that isn't the understatement of the year," Rayna shot back. "How was she?"

"She seems really good, having fun and I think being with the band is good for her. She's worried about you, about being away, but I think this will make her feel a lot better," Caleb responded, gesturing toward Rayna and Deacon. "I'm glad you've been able to widen your support circle a bit more."

"We told the girls as well," Deacon responded, his voice quiet. "And I know Rayna probably has some questions for you, things I've forgotten or don't know, but can you tell us about the MRI first?"

Dr. Rand nodded. "Of course." He pressed a couple of buttons on his computer and the scans lit up on the monitor next to his desk.

"So, we repeated the MRI of Deacon's liver yesterday. On the left you can see the initial scan we took and here on the right is the scan from yesterday." He pointed up to the screen at the new scan. "This is the tumor. The initial scan measured it at 4.5 cm and looking at this scan, there has been very minimal growth."

"So, it's still small enough for the transplant?" Deacon asked.

The doctor nodded. "This is good. It's definitely grown a slight bit, but yes, we're still within the allowable margin for the transplant."

Deacon let out his breath and nodded. "Good," he said as Rayna took his hand.

"And where do we stand on the transplant?" Rayna asked.

"This will increase your MELD score slightly and move you up the list. We remain one of the more active transplant centers in this region, so I am cautiously optimistic that we'll be able to procure an organ in time."

Deacon looked over and smiled softly at Rayna and nodded.

"Anything we can do to make you more optimistic?" Rayna asked. "It's hard for me to believe that all we can do is just sit here and wait."

"I know it's hard, but honestly, Deacon needs to keep doing what he's doing-taking care of himself and being ready when the call happens. I can't tell you when that will be, but when we get a liver, we'll need him to be as ready as possible."

Rayna tightened her hand around Deacon's. "Okay, then that's what we'll do."

* * *

The next week passed by with an odd rhythm. Deacon came over each morning, he and Rayna spent much of the day together, he would have dinner with her and the girls and then around the time the girls went to bed, he'd go home. Each night Rayna would ask him to stay and each night he'd make an excuse to go back to his place.

"You sure you can't stay tonight?" Rayna asked as her head nestled against his shoulder. "I miss you when you're gone."

"We banked a couple hours this afternoon," Deacon pointed out. "Can't you think about that tonight?"

"It's not the same," Rayna answered. "Plus at some point I'm gonna need to go into the office and actually see Bucky." She'd hardly left Deacon's side during the day since they'd come back from the cabin. "My excuse that I'm working on something is not going to keep holding up."

"You're working on me," Deacon replied.

"We may need to write a song at some point as proof," Rayna shot back. "So, why are you leaving this time?"

"Scarlett gets home tonight and she asked me to pick her up," Deacon answered.

Rayna moved on the couch so she was facing Deacon. "Huh, I figured she might have that cute doctor come to get her instead."

Deacon shook his head. "He's on call, which I'm sure is the only reason she asked me instead." He stood up from the couch and reached down to pull Rayna up to him for a goodbye kiss. "So, what were you and the girls discussing so heatedly this morning when I came in. I kept meaning to ask you all day."

Rayna sighed. "Next week is spring break. They're supposed to be going to see their grandmother in Florida. Teddy was going to take them and now he can't and they don't want to go, but they don't see her very often and I said they still need to go. Maddie's 15 and it's a direct flight, so I don't see any harm in them going on their own."

"What's the problem?" Deacon asked. "Are they uncomfortable going on their own or is it something else? Is it me? Us?"

Rayna shrugged. "I think it's a little bit of all of it, but I also think that it's important for them to go. It's one week. They don't see her very often and I think, honestly, that they could use a little bit of a break."

Deacon nodded. "If you think so. Let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Well, there is this one thing…" Rayna started.

"What?" Deacon asked as she pulled him to her.

"Well, with the girls gone, there's no reason for you to go home at night. Think you could plan a few sleepovers while they're gone?" Rayna asked as she tightened her arms around Deacon.

He looked down at her and quickly kissed her. "Yes, I think we could probably arrange that."

"Good. Okay, so go and see your niece and get all caught up. I want to hear how it's going-we've been looking for a ensemble act for the label."

"Yeah," Deacon replied. "Let's see how it's been going before we start talking about label deals. I want to make sure she's taking care of herself."

"You're taking care of her, she's taking care of you," Rayna responded. "I guess we're all gettin' better at being family."

Deacon kissed her one more time. "Guess so."

* * *

Deacon was standing alongside his truck when the tour bus pulled in. Deacon waved to Gunnar as he headed to his own vehicle, then walked over as Scarlett stood waiting for her suitcase.

"Give you a hand with that?" he asked.

"Deacon!" Scarlett squealed as she launched herself into her uncle's arms. "I'm so glad to see you." She stepped back from him. "You look good, like someone's been takin' good care of you."

"Yeah, well, someone had to pick up the slack in your absence," he replied. He reached over for her bag.

"I got it," Scarlett said as she took the handle of the rolling bag.

"I think I can still manage to get your suitcase across a parking lot and into the truck," Deacon said as he took the bag from her. He put his arm around her and they walked back toward his truck.

"You feeling okay?" Scarlett asked as he opened up the back gate and lifted her suitcase inside.

Deacon nodded. "Yeah, a little tired, but I'm hanging in there. It's been nice to have a few more people around me who know what's going on, even though I wish we hadn't had to say anything to the girls."

They walked to their doors and got into the vehicle.

"How are they doing?" Scarlett asked as she climbed into her seat and pulled her seat belt around her.

Deacon shrugged. "Daphne's like a 50 year old mother, asking me how I feel. Maddie-well, she's harder to figure out. She's been pretty busy, going to friends' houses after school and generally not being around too much."

"Sounds like she might take after her dad a little bit," Scarlett replied. "I'm glad you told them."

Deacon nodded. "Me too. So, how was it being out there again?"

Scarlett shrugged. "Good. Scary, a little bit, but mostly really good. Things are a little weird with Gunnar, though."

Deacon laughed. "Well, that's no surprise. Even if you've moved on, I'm not surprised to hear he hasn't quite gotten there."

"Yeah, well, I have, so he'll have to-or we aren't gonna be able to do this anymore, and I have to tell you, I love making music with those guys so I hope it can work out."

Deacon put the car into gear and pulled out of the parking lot. "Well, let's get you home and then you can tell me all about it."

* * *

Rayna pulled into the driveway at her house after dropping the girls off at the airport. She smiled at the sight of Deacon's truck pulled up in front of the garage.

She got out of the car and found him leaning over the flower bed along the edge of the garage.

"You do know I have a lawn service, don't you?" she teased as he pulled up a weed in the flower bed.

"Lawn service, housekeeper, pool boy-I'm going to feel like a kept man," Deacon teased back at her.

"Well, you are this week," Rayna replied. "This week is about us, about indulgence, about making up for lost time."

Deacon looked over at her, his face suddenly somber. "I'm sorry about all of this, Ray. I…"

Rayna walked up and slid her arm around him, drawing him close to her. "And the other thing...no sorries this week, okay?"

He leaned in and kissed her. "It's not my nature, but okay, no more sorries."

* * *

Deacon rolled over in bed to face Rayna. "So, with this week of indulgence, I'm wondering, can we go out for a walk?"

"A walk?" she asked, sitting up, her back against the pillows.

"If I'm being honest, my back is starting to hurt," Deacon said as he sat up next to her. "It's possible that I have finally met my limit for hanging out in bed."

Rayna looked over at the clock. "Seriously? Twelve hours? That's all you can take, old man?"

"Hey, I'm old and sick," Deacon teased as he leaned in to kiss her. Rayna kissed back and then pulled back from him.

"Can we not talk about that?" she asked. "Just today?"

Deacon took her hand in his. "I don't think we need to fixate on it, babe, but I also don't think we can keep ignoring it."

Rayna kissed him again. "I know."

"Can I ask you about another thing?" Deacon inquired.

"What?"

"So, I don't mean to get in the middle of things, but is something up with you and Teddy?" Deacon asked, his gaze fixated on her.

Rayna sighed and looked down at her hands. "Teddy...well, can I say that Teddy is struggling with his own demons these days and leave it at that?"

"Is it something that could harm the girls? Is that why they haven't been staying with him, why he didn't go with them to Florida?"

Rayna looked over at Deacon. "It's his own issue and no, I don't think the girls would be harmed directly by it, but I also told him that I thought he needed to focus on getting his act together cause he was starting to make some questionable decisions."

"Like the mess with Maddie and Edgehill?" Deacon asked.

"Exactly," Rayna replied. "And I know that doesn't make a lot of sense, cause Maddie is your daughter, but can you just trust me with this for now, babe?"

A small smile crossed Deacon's face and he slid his arm around her.

"I thought we were going for a walk," Rayna replied as Deacon moved across her.

"I'm suddenly tired again and my back doesn't hurt so much anymore," he responded as he drew her close once again.

"You do realize we're probably going to have to go find food at some point," Rayna said as Deacon started running his fingers over her shoulders.

"Papa Johns doesn't come out here to Belle Meade?" Deacon teased.

"I can't believe you eat that crap," Rayna replied. "I can make us dinner. Or we can go out."

Deacon stopped his ministrations and rolled back onto his side. "We haven't really talked about that. I mean, last time you wanted to keep it to us and now…"

Rayna turned so she was facing him. "I don't care who knows that we're together. I want the world to know it."

"I don't want to talk about being sick, though," Deacon responded, quietly. "I just…"

Rayna reached over and smoothed her fingers over his shoulder. "I know, babe. And we can wait until you're okay with that. I'm happy to follow your lead. Of course, Bucky is probably wondering why he threw in with me, I've been pretty much worthless since that night at the Opry."

Deacon rolled onto his back and looked up at the ceiling. "I just need a little more time, Ray. It just takes it out of me to think about people looking at me like that. I mean, Teddy being nice to me…"

"Is a good thing, Deacon and if this is what it took, well, I would rather not have you sick, but I can't say it bothers me to have you two respecting one another as fathers and working together to make things okay for Maddie and Daphne."

"I get that," Deacon replied. "He was actually pretty great with her that day."

"So, to answer your earlier question, I'm perfectly fine with going out in the light of day with you. I'm single, you're single, our girls know, Teddy knows, Scarlett knows-that's all that really matters."

"You are single or you were single?" Deacon teased as he ran his fingers down her arm.

Rayna rolled over to him. "I never want to be anywhere again, but with you, Deacon Claybourne. I want you by my side, in my bed, with our family, on stage with me…" She started to break down.

Deacon reached up to brush away her tears. "I'll be here, Ray. I won't go anywhere, if I don't have to."

"But you might have to," she responded, her voice breaking down.

Deacon pulled her close to him, his arms around her. "But I'm here now, babe. I'm here now."

FIN


	2. Chapter 2

_Thanks for the lovely reviews...I decided to write a little more. This takes place between episodes 3x18 and 3x19_

* * *

"So, did you orchestrate that?" Deacon asked as the girls went upstairs to pick up their backpacks and get ready to go to school.

Rayna smiled. "What? Them asking you to move in? You think I'd be crafty that way?" She bumped her hip up against his.

"Definitely," Deacon replied.

"I did not tell them to do that, but I did ask them what they would think of it. They put 2 and 2 together themselves," Rayna answered.

"You want me to drop them off today?" Deacon asked. "Their school is on my way home-I could head over there and pack up a few things."

Rayna smiled and nodded. "That would be great. I need to go in and meet with Bucky and then Teddy left a message about the fundraiser. He had asked me to sing with the girls. You want to join us?"

Deacon paused. "You think that'd be okay with him? He's been really great, Ray. I don't want to do anything to make him uncomfortable at his event."

"Thanks," Rayna replied. "I really appreciate how you two have been lately-makes it easier for all of us. Let me talk to him and see where he's at, but I know I'd love to have you on the stage with us. I've been missing you up there."

Deacon nodded. "You know, these past couple of years, while we've been figuring stuff out-Ray, I haven't gone so long without making music with you since we met."

Rayna put her arms around him. "And I'm sorry for that, babe-can you ever forgive me?"

Deacon tipped his head down and kissed her. "Nothing to forgive babe, it was just how it was."

"Mom!"

They pulled apart to find Daphne standing there with her backpack on.

"Maddie's already outside. We gotta go, or we're gonna be late."

"Okay, honey. Deacon's gonna drop you today so I can go see Uncle Bucky." She walked over and planted a kiss on Daphne's head. "Have a great day, sweetheart."

* * *

Rayna walked into the Highway 65 offices, waving to the staff as she made her way to her office.

"You ready for me?" Bucky asked as she sat down behind the desk.

"Sure, c'mon in," she invited him.

Bucky took the seat across from her and opened up a notebook he had been carrying. "I've just got a few things that are urgent, but then we should probably talk about what's on the horizon."

Rayna nodded. "Yes, we do need to talk about that." She looked up at the staff moving outside the office, stood up and walked over to close the door to her office. "I actually have a couple of things I need to talk to you about."

Bucky watched silently as Rayna told him about Deacon's cancer and prognosis.

"Oh, Ray-I'm sorry," he responded when she finished.

"Thanks, Buck. I know you've been through a lot with me and with Deacon, but we're in as good a place as we can be right now. He's actually at his place getting his stuff and moving in. I just feel like whether we have this short amount of time left or a lifetime, I want him there, with our family."

"Is there anything I can do?" her manager asked.

Rayna shook her head. "Honestly, you've been doing it. Deacon has gotten a little more used to sharing this news, but we haven't told very many people so if you're able to pick up the slack for me, I'd be very grateful."

"Happy to do that, Ray. Whatever you need. Please just let me know."

Thanks, Buck. Okay, what do you have on your list?"

* * *

Rayna walked out of the Highway 65 office and slipped her sunglasses on and looked down at her watch. She pulled her phone out and dialed Teddy's number.

"Hey," she said as he answered the phone. "I'm downtown today at the office. Any chance you can meet for lunch?"

Teddy agreed and they made plans to meet up at Puckett's Grocery at noon. She ended the call and dialed Deacon.

"How's the move going?" she asked. "You need me to send over Two Men and a Truck?"

Deacon laughed. "You got somewhere I can put some guitars that somebody will actually play?" he asked.

"I played those guitars in the family room," Rayna responded indignantly. "One time, at least."

"Well, if you don't mind, I'm going to bring a few other favorites," Deacon replied.

"Anything that makes you feel at home," Rayna answered. "So, I'm going to meet Teddy for lunch, but then I'll be home to help."

"Sounds good," Deacon replied, then coughed.

"You feeling okay?" she asked, a look of concern crossing her face.

"I'm fine," he responded. "Don't worry, Ray."

"I'm gonna worry," Rayna answered. "I'm gonna worry until we find the liver and…"

"I'll see you in a bit," he said, cutting her off. "Have a good lunch."

She ended the call and turned to head up Church Street toward the restaurant. Time to break the news to Teddy that Deacon was really, once and for all, back in her life.

* * *

"So, you still good with doing a song for the fundraiser," Teddy said as he looked over the menu.

"Of course," Rayna replied. "Of course, I keep performing with the girls and they're gonna expect to go out on the road with me next time."

Teddy looked up and smiled. "You know that you've opened the barn door on that one, don't you?"

Rayna nodded. "So, there's something else I wanted to talk to you about."

Teddy laid down the menu. "Yes?"

She looked at him and took in a breath. "So, Deacon's moving in with us."

Teddy sighed. "I mean, I guess I shouldn't be surprised and with everything going on…"

"Yeah," Rayna answered. "I know we've both moved on... that I was about to marry Luke and you and Peggy, but I can understand that since it's Deacon you might feel different about it."

Teddy reached over and took her hand. "Rayna, I know I never wanted to admit it, but I think I knew before you did that this is how your story would end, that you would be together."

Rayna took another breath, her voice catching. "That's just it. If it's the end…"

He shook his head. "No, that's not what I meant. I mean, that you two would be together again."

Rayna nodded, reaching up to brush away a tear. "I'm sorry, seems like I can keep a handle on it and then it just bubbles up and hear I am crying in public again."

"How are the girls doing?" he asked. "I mean, they seem okay when I see them, but how are they doing?"

Rayna shrugged. "I don't know-okay, I guess?"

"If there's anything...anything at all that I can do, you'll let me know, right?" Teddy asked.

"Of course," Rayna replied, nodding her head to confirm it.

* * *

"Hey," Rayna said as she walked in the house to find Deacon sitting on the couch playing the guitar. "You writing something new?"

Deacon looked up. "Just trying to figure out what we might want to play at the fundraiser."

She looked over his shoulder at a list of songs, all crossed out. "Seems like you're working your way through most of our catalog."

"Yeah," Deacon replied. "I mean, we wrote most of them either in love with each other or longing for one another, so that makes it a little harder to sing as a family."

"What about _A Life That's Good_?" she asked.

Deacon shook his head. "Not sure I could make it through it right now, if that's okay."

Rayna sat down next to him and reached over for his hand. "I get that." She picked up the notepad and looked down it. "So, what about _This Time_? I mean, yes, it's kind of suggestive, but I could sing the lines that are really bad…"

Deacon considered it and then nodded. "That could work. How was Teddy?"

"Good. Better. So, about this fundraiser…"

"Yes?" Deacon responded.

Rayna linker her arm with his. "You know there's gonna be press there, red carpet, the whole deal."

"And?"

She looked up at him. "So, you ready to take this thing public? Us?"

He leaned in and kissed her. "Absolutely. I'm all in, Rayna Jaymes."


End file.
